What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
