Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
