p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
