Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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