I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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