I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
