you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
