I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
