called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
