sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
