Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
