I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
