I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
