sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
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Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
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As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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