I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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