Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize