I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
