so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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