Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
