Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
