oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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