Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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