I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Randomize
