When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
tell me about the eggs
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