he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
