This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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