Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
