wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
