God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
