I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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