Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
