just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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