i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
tell your sister to shave her snatch
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
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