He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize