Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
