glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
