Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
