Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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