Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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