my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I need water and some morals
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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