Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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