i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
