I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
