she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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