They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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