He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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