I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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