She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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