Sponge bath it is.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
