u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
