I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
