The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
