I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Randomize
