I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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