what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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