Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
