god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize