She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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