Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
