dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
