but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
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Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
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If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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